Feel
by wvuchick21
Summary: Every time he got in the vicinity of Kate, his hands twitched constantly.       Third in the Vulnerable Series


Okay, okay, okay, I'm going to eat my words once again as well as give into the temptation that is seriously mocking me. After the wonderful response to both _Vulnerable_ and _Human_, I have decided to make a series of it. I don't know how many there will be or how far it will go. I hope everyone enjoys this installment!

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Life is one of those precious fleeting gifts, and everything can change in a heartbeat."<strong>_

**-_Unknown_**

_Aimed his gun at the crazed lunatic's head. Tried to regulate his breathing—slow down his heart rate._

Couldn't deny it. Not anymore. He hated acknowledging it because that meant it had happened. That it was real.

A persistent ache had taken residence in the center of his chest for the past two weeks and it hadn't dulled. Not one iota. It was always increased in intensity whenever he saw the haunted look in her eyes.

He had put it there.

It was his fault.

A chance encounter in Autopsy a month ago had propelled the relationship out of the starting gate. The attraction and sexual tension had been present for some time—it had been the encounter that had given them a swift kick in their respective Asses.

During that chance encounter—much to her dismay—he had seen her at her worst—vulnerable and raw.

He knew how much of a risk she took after revealing another vulnerability—risking her heart—but she still dove head first into the relationship with him.

After a month's time, her vulnerabilities were pretty much nonexistent.

But now...

Those vulnerabilities were ever present. And stronger than before.

In her body language. In her beautiful mocha irises.

He had hurt her. To the core.

* * *

><p>It has been two weeks.<p>

Two weeks of pure torture—him second-guessing the decision he had made. Was it the right one? Did he have to go to the extreme—ending the relationship?

Every time he got in the vicinity of Kate; the fragrance of her body wash, perfume, and shampoo drifted into his nose. His hands twitched constantly—all he wanted to do was bury them in her auburn tresses—the silky strands threading through his fingers—and kiss her full lips. Wanted to bury his nose in the curve of her neck and breathe in her intoxicating scent.

Being stuck in a car with Kate—mere inches separating them—was not helping to tell him that he'd made the right decision.

Right now, the only way he was getting through it—and resisting temptation— was being curt with her and deflecting questions about DiNozzo and he, himself, being worried.

It frustrated him that she knew him so well after only one month together.

Would be almost two months if he hadn't been a fucking bastard.

More like a coward the more he thought back on it.

_"Drop the knife!"_

He just wished he could move past that day. Kept remembering it, but with a completely different outcome. Even dreamt about it, too.

He wanted to reach across the center console and grab her hand—feel her smooth skin underneath his fingertips—and tell her that he made the biggest mistake of his life.

But his pride kept him immobile. Kept him silent.

Had remained quiet when he woken her up late last night—after he'd stopped for coffee and something resembling food for the both of them—and heard her sleepy moan.

That moan had done delicious things to him—always did. Once again, that fucking pride of his—and that day—held him back.

Out of the blue—and breaking the awkward silence—as they waited for the GPS coordinates of the number that had called Gibbs' cell phone, she spoke, "When this case is wrapped up, we're going to talk."

Her words—and tone of voice—left no wiggle room for him.

Kate had every right.

He had hurt and avoided her.

* * *

><p>Gibbs tried not to look too eager—or that he was actually awaiting her arrival in the entryway—when he opened the front door mere seconds after she knocked. Stepped aside and let her enter.<p>

They shared a glance.

Both had their shields up—neither could get a grasp on what the other was thinking and feeling.

After taking off her coat and draping it over the arm of the couch, Kate took up residence on the piece of furniture and waited for Gibbs.

He continued to stand. Hands tucked in his pockets. "Would you like something to drink? Water? Beer? Um, probably eight-hour old coffee?" The last earned him a ghost of a smile.

"Maybe later. I'm fine now." Knew he was delaying the inevitable.

He nodded while responding, "Okay." Sat down in the chair situated adjacent to the couch. He leaned forward—resting his elbows on his thighs.

Didn't know where to start—had everything planned out in her mind before leaving her apartment this evening, but being in the same room with Gibbs—her plan went up in smoke. She ran her tongue over her dry lips. Maybe she should've taken him up on his offer of some water.

The silence was deafening.

The ticking of the clock on the mantle was the only sound in the quiet room.

"I know you broke up with me because of what happened two-and-a-half weeks ago." There she said it—that part was done—onto the next obstacle.

"Kate," he protested, but then bit his tongue to silence the rest of his words. Not sure as to why.

"I respected your wishes when you broke it off. Didn't protest. Didn't try to talk you out of it. I thought I would get an explanation as to why. You never did, though, give one." Clasped her hands over her knees—not sure of what else to do with them.

_"Drop the knife!" Aimed the gun at the crazed lunatic's head. Tried to regulate his breathing—slow down his heartbeat._

_Saw DiNozzo methodically—and quietly—enter the back door. DiNozzo nodded at him and signaled that he would stay back until Gibbs wanted him to engage._

_He blinked his eyes—hoping that would clear his mind and bring him back to the mentality of a NCIS Agent and not as a boyfriend._

_Caught Kate's stare and he couldn't believe what he saw mirrored in her mocha irises._

"Do you think you're the only one who continually thinks about it?" Licked her dry lips once more.

It was as if she knew where his mind drifted off to. He closed his eyes—unable to look into her eyes, knowing that doing so would only drive the knife deeper into his chest.

Never admitted this to him, but maybe it would help him understand—open his eyes. "The night—at my apartment—when we made love, I said to myself that risking everything—and possibly losing a part of myself to you if you left—was worth it when experiencing those emotions with you that night."

His hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"I would've been okay with this, Gibbs, if you had given me a reason. It would've hurt for a while." _Would've hurt for a long time._ "But, with a little time, I would've gotten through it." Stood to her feet and went to stand in front of him.

Felt her presence in front of him. He willed himself to open his eyes and braced himself for what awaited him. Sadness and confusion.

"Why?" Her voice was so soft.

If she hadn't been standing directly in front of him, he would've missed what she said. "I was scared." Hated admitting it. "I couldn't protect you."

Finally everything clicked for Kate.

"I thought I made the right choice."

Kate felt her heart break a little bit. Knew what he meant. There was no reason for further elaboration on his part.

_Trust._

_She trusted him to make the right decision. _

_Trusted him to get her out of the fucked up situation she was currently in._

She reached out and grasped his hand in hers—little electric shocks surging through her veins from the first touch they shared in two weeks—and placed his hand over her heart. "What do you feel?"

Underneath his fingertips and palm, he faintly felt the steady _thump; thump_ of her heart—strong, like the woman it belonged to. "Your heart beat." His voice was hoarse.

"It's beating because of you." Hoped he understood what she was trying to tell him. "It's beating because you saved me. In more ways than you'll ever know."

His hand feathered across her clavicle—stroking it gently through the fabric of her shirt. The wound was superficial—a nick according to Ducky. It had happened when Gibbs fired, putting a bullet in the man's head—and the man's hand faltered slightly forcing the knife to nick Kate's clavicle.

He looked into her eyes again—shimmering with unshed tears.

"It's not the end of the world if you feel something during an intense and emotional situation."

A ghost of a smile played at the corners of his mouth. He had something of that nature a month ago to her in Autopsy.

Kate was right.

"No one on the team is going to think less of you or me if we worry about the other." The whole team knew of their relationship—DiNozzo sniffed it out like a bloodhound after the first week.

"I know."

Knew he was beating himself up inside for the superficial cut on her clavicle. "I don't blame you for that."

Quirked his eyebrows in confusion.

"I blame myself. I didn't properly search the kitchen—simply neglected the basement door, which was where he was hiding."

He was unsure of what to say. He'd been solely centered on his emotions and actions from that day that he never stopped to think about Kate's—or even DiNozzo's for that matter. "I don't know what to say to make this right again."

Lifted his hand from her clavicle, brought it to her mouth and kissed the center of his palm. "That's a good start so far."

His free hand feathered across her taut abdomen—feeling the muscles jump beneath the fabric of her shirt—then clasped his hand around her wrist and brought her hand to his chest, laying it over his heart. "What do you feel?"

"Your heart beat."

"Can you forgive the person that this heart belongs to—for the rash decision that they had made?" His voice cracked slightly towards the end—swallowed and hoped she hadn't heard.

But she had—and her heart broke for the both of them. Each blaming themselves for a situation that they had no control over.

Kate inched closer to him—her hand still over his heart—and stood up on her tiptoes, kissed the corner of his mouth before dropping back to her feet. "Always."

Moved a few inches closer to her until their bodies brushed. "Stay the night?" His voice a husky whisper.

A sultry lilt to her voice, she whispered, "Maybe."

* * *

><p><em>Where the fuck was her left boot?<em>

It wasn't that hard to lose. Really wasn't. At least she thought it wasn't. But here she was—six thirty on a Monday morning—crawling around on the floor in Gibbs' living room—in her long sleeved shirt and a black thong—searching for her elusive boot.

Desperately wanted to find it. She still had to swing by her apartment to get ready for work. Had not been properly prepared for a sleepover last night. She had kept a packed bag in the trunk of her car for this particular situation—started keeping one after the first week—but when he ended things two weeks ago, the bag left her trunk.

Definitely going back in after last night.

_Lord, have mercy!_

Right after she said—literally right after—_maybe_, he had pounced on her. Lifted her up into his arms—her legs wound themselves around his waist—crushed his mouth to hers, plundering it. Teeth and tongues clashed. His fingers bit into her waist. Clothing was torn from bodies and thrown in any direction, neither caring where it landed.

It was raw. Passionate.

It was the best fucking sex she ever had—four times over.

And she bore the marks of a woman thoroughly loved—not complaining one bit.

Didn't have to time to reminisce about the activities of last night—and early this morning. Had to focus. Needed to find her MIA boot.

And needed to do it quickly.

Or she was going to give into the temptation that she has been battling since she woke up thirty minutes ago—thoroughly loving Gibbs like he'd done to her last night.

God, how she loved that man!

* * *

><p>Gibbs woke up alone in bed. Took a shower—alone. Wondered where Kate had disappeared. She usually left a note on her pillow if she had to leave early and didn't have the heart to wake him up—since according to her, he didn't get enough sleep.<p>

As much as he hated admitting it—she was absolutely correct.

He came down the steps—dressed for the day—and headed for the living room only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight that greeted him.

Kate—on her hands and knees in the living room—in just a long sleeved shirt and a black thong—that he vividly remembered removing from her body last night. She leaned down on her arms to get a better look underneath the couch, causing her backside to rise higher—giving him a better view of her spectacular ass.

A groan rumbled up from his chest—tried to stifle it, but didn't know how well.

"Are you going to stand there all morning, gawking at my ass or are you going to help me?" She scolded.

He winced. No doubt that she heard the groan.

Threw him a look over her shoulder. "Yes, I heard that pitiful attempt at smothering the groan." Got to her feet.

She never looked more beautiful to him.

"Do you know where my left boot is? I can't find it any where in the living room." Hands went to her hips-clearly annoyed with the predicament she was currently in.

He hummed, "Hmm," clearly confused—lost in whatever conversation they were supposedly having.

"My boot?" She said slowly for him. "Do you know where it is?"

"Oh!" Lightbulb finally clicked on. "Yes, it's underneath the dining room table." Pointed to the missing boot.

Immediately she went over to retrieve it. Came back—dropped the boot on the floor with a loud _thud_—and crushed her mouth to his. Slipped her tongue passed his waiting lips and met his. Fingers dived into his silver hair.

His hands gripped her ass, hauling her to his body—rubbed his erection against her abdomen. A soft moan rumbled up from her throat.

Slowly, she pulled back—little kisses and nibbles before fully disengaging. "I'm sorry."

Nipped at her nose. Nuzzled the soft spot beneath her ear. "What for?" he mumbled.

"I practically attacked you for helping me find my missing boot." Leaned her head to the side to give him better access.

Murmured, "Always ready to help a lady in need." Straightened up and gazed into her eyes. "No need to apologize. It's okay to feel like that towards me. I love it. A lot."

Kate nuzzled her nose against his throat. Breathed in the scent of Irish Spring soap. Held him tight with her arms—her fingers trailed up and down his back in a soothing motion. "Remember when you asked me how I would feel if I never knew?"

Kissed her templed. "Of course." How could he not remember? It was that particular question that gave Kate the push she needed to move forward. Wondered why she was referring to it. "Why do you ask?"

"Did you ever ask yourself that same question after breaking things off?"

"Many times. And kept asking myself if I had made the right decision—breaking things off with you." Pushed her back a little bit—still stayed within the circles of each other's arms. "I made the wrong decision. I went back on everything I said to you. I ran when things got scary."

Tears escaped the corners of her eyes.

"I love you, Kate. So much." Kissed her wet cheeks—tasting the salt in her tears. "And I'll do everything in my power to make this right between us."

Another kiss coupled with a few nips at his lower lip followed. They still had a ways to go, but they were heading in the right direction. And that was all that mattered to them both.

* * *

><p><em>FINIS<em>


End file.
